Abandoned

April 4, 2012

The Life of Jesus; read today: "Eloi, Eloi, Lamma, Sabachthani"; Matthew  27:46; Mark 15:34

When I was young and in Cub Scouts, I remember going for a hike up the small hill that was in the area, it was part of the Blue Hills in eastern Massachusetts.  We did it every year so we could earn some sort of pin or badge and we did it as a den.  As we climbed up that hill I remember getting a pebble in my shoe. I was near the tail end and stopped on a rock to get it out.  The group moved on and I was sure that I could catch up.  I then got distracted with some bit of nature and next I knew one minute turned to five and I was alone.  I had a bad feeling, it was called abandonment.  I kept going on the path but I was sure they had gone off and left me and I would never see home again.  A few minutes later, I rounded a turn and there was my den. My mom, the den mother, had stopped the group knowing that if I stayed on the path I would be OK. I was happy to see them but I will never forget that fear of abandonment till this day.

As an adult who had become a Christian, I had a troubled relationship with my wife. I felt that God had told me to do something and she was not co-operating. I felt abandoned by God, and decided that it was time for me to move on and make myself happy.  It was a wrong choice, and I learned from it.

Jesus had abandonment issues as well.


BBE: Matthew 27:46. And about the ninth hour Jesus gave a loud cry, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is, My God, my God, why are you turned away from me?

How did Jesus feel about this situation.  He was not only 100% God, He was 100% man as well.

When He could not sense God the Father, did he feel hopeless and alone like a little boy on a trail, lost?  Did it occur to Him to keep following that trail, knowing that the end was worth it.

Did His flesh kick in and want to tear Himself off the cross and yell, ‘enough, I can not handle this anymore.”  Did He think that He must go on or all that He had done so far, all that pain, would be totally useless.

I can not know what He felt. I can only know what I felt. I can know how it feels to have that feeling of abandonment. I cannot imagine how it felt to Jesus who had been with the Father forever. What a snap that must of been in His brain. I will never know that pain, but I will know that He did it all for me.


Read for next time: "I thirst."; John  19:28